Permission slips and other Freudian underwear

Hi gang,

So I got permission from two new authors to put some of their stories up here. I started the usual procedure...what’s that? You don’t know the “usual procedure?” Didn’t you read the fine manual? Pay attention in class? Copy the nerdy girl’s notes after promising her a ride in your GTO?

Honestly!

The Usual Procedure, in which Kara lectures the class (cue Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher”)

Step the First: Copy and paste said story into Microslut Word. Remember that secondary pages have to have two ENTERs before pasting or they will jam together in one big paragraph. Save your work.

Step Deux: Highlight entire story and adjust font and font size to Calibri 12. This makes it more uniform looking on the blog. Save your work.

Step C: Run the entire story through Word’s maddening spelling and grammar checker.

SubStep Ca: Fix egregious type-o’s and word-o’s. Je vous demande pardon? Well, if a type-o is a mistyped word, then a word-o is a misplaced word that is spelled correctly. For example, “Than I went to sleep.”

SubStep Cb: Examine all ellipses and see if they can be converted to simple commas or, if too complex a thought, two sentences. Many people use…them…excessively…which makes…everything sound…like William…Shatner talking. Avoid changing them to excessive semi-colons, which Word seems to just love, since people tend to not think in semi-colons but commas.

Save your work.

Step Last: Now you have to read it for proper flow, proper punctuation (especially around dialog), word-o’s that Word didn’t find, and blatant plot errors. Save your work a lot here since The Daughter tends to walk in and ask questions about everythingunderthesun randomly during the day. Be prepared to shut Word off at a moment’s notice OR LESS!

If the story can be corrected by the addition of a simple paragraph mark or turning one sentence into two, then do so. If you have to rewrite something so it makes sense, think about not including the story at all. Contact the author and talk things over with them first.

Class dismissed!

**********

So I had got to Step Last in this new story, 53 pages of stuff that was really good. Great plot, hot sex, mom and son incest, the usual things I like, when I hit the first Plot Hole. Our mom and son have just been completely naked, during the daytime, outdoors. They’ve had sex twice in the space of a few minutes, son has cum in her twice, she screams a lot and loves it, and they’ve lain around in the sunlight resting. And yet, a bit later mom gets all embarrassed and shy when son asks to look at her without her bath robe on. Now, mom has stated she has a history of sexual repression and all this sex-with-son stuff is new and exciting and ground-breaking for her and she’s happy and fearful and shocked, the whole thing. I could see that the shyness ‘might’ be a reinforcement by The Author of that repressed past, however, reading it just snapped me out of The Story universe and into my Editor universe. I stopped reading the story for the story and had to go back and figure out who did what to whom and where and when it all occurred to try to understand why mom’s all shy now after the whambam stuff earlier.

So I get the action figured out and just accept the shyness aspect and move on when I hit the second Plot Hole. She gives son a blowjob and he tries to tell her he’s gonna cum but she’s really into it and doesn’t pay attention and he shoots in her mouth and onto her face. So far, so good and go mom! A short while later she wants “something she had never done; she wanted to drink his cum.”

Wait what? But you did that already! Maybe one squirt doesn’t make it enough to think you’re drinking it? UNLESS, an accidental cumshot isn’t REALLY a cumshot. Maybe it’s the intent that changes it all? So President Bill came in Monica’s mouth but it wasn’t really sex because he didn’t think it was?? Riiiight!

And son does cum and she gets chipmunk cheeks but that’s a whole nother kettle of crazy and every guy is Peter North all the time. Sigh, in exasperation.

Finally, anal sex happens spontaneously. No prior attempt mentioned in her life ever, no tongue action, no fingers to loosen and stretch, no fucking LUBE for Cthulhu’s sake! Just hold still and, sploot, in he goes!

Have you guys ever heard of painanal? There’s vids of such horror online, seen ‘em, don’t want to think about ‘em too much. When in doubt, use lube, when not in doubt get in doubt is my motto (well, one of them at least). And of course, she’s loving it like a Big Mac. Totally unrealistic in my humble opinion, the non-prep stuff not the loving it part.

You may wonder about me and my experience with said splooting and yes I’ve had anal sex and lube was in plentiful supply and it was odd and he liked it. I’m not sure if I actually liked it like I do other sex acts but I tried it more than once just to be sure and my opinion didn’t change. It’s not the ultimate thing for me any more than having him fuck my tits, which aren’t all that big to begin with but he seems to enjoy it and I love to see that yes indeed.

So, back to the story and put your tongues back in your mouths you nasty boys thinking about little ole Kara with something hard up her backside...lol!

I’m not sure the story is for our blog. Oh sure, some of the things I inherited are more fantastic that fantasy and I’m not taking them down. But I do want stories that make me want to read the story multiple times (the ‘I Dare You’ stuff springs to mind) and this story doesn’t do it for me in that way. I feel like I wasted most of this evening doing all this stuff and now it’s almost 2 in the AM and I’m sleepy and tomorrow’s vet day for the critters and I have to get up early but at least coffee is made and I can just pour the coffeepot’s contents down my throat while getting dressed.

Coffee is another blog entry that I hope to bend your ears about soon.

I’ll keep looking and I hope to bring you that quality of writing that I’m talking about.

Stay frosty,

Kara